Comatose Brain Cell

I don’t want to miss you but sometimes it’s confusing.
Sigh
Not sure if it’s you-YOU, or what we used to have.
Intimacy. Friendship. Attraction.
Simple routines, fulfilling monotony.
But of course, as always, I romanticize my memories.
Forget about the muddy days, cul-de-sac streets.
No, it’s not you. It’s what we used to have but with someone new.
Someone more intellectual, less selfish.

Yesterday I missed (so much) the feeling you have when you love someone and just watch him breathe.
The happiness you feel because that person exists. And it's laying next to you. How you, completely mesmerized, stare at that chest going up and down, like if you were witnessing the creation of the universe. The most spectacular aurora borealis.
I also realized that it’s been a loooong time since I missed that. Or even remember something related to that: love, living together, company.
That’s good.
I think.
(…)
Did you trigger that?
Did you, by any chance, shake that almost dead brain cell?
It was you who took it out of its comatose state?