you don't know

i watch the beautiful lightning announcing the thunder.
you don't know about me when i am without you, alone
a fever in my heart takes my body and strokes.
where will the road to desire lead?
i try to forget, try to mend feelings still without response.
it's better this way. i will let rest the insitent doubt of desires.
thunder cracks the sky and a sudden torrential rain slaps.
you don't know about me when i am alone, without you,
covered in a blanket of doubt experimenting with my heart.
why do so many dreams die without words? just a sigh.
you can't see me, how i look, you don't know what i think about,
disecting phrases, movements, even a pause,
but you masturbate too.